Thursday, September 8, 2011

My Life Through Email. . .

So recently I've been thinking about how--since the dawn of the cyber-age, anyway--the major happenings in my life can be tracked through my email.  (In that I can go back through and read old emails, if I so choose, NOT in a Big Brother is watching/tin-foil hat kind of way.  I just want to make that clear.)

Even so, this is a big idea for me to get my head around.

From almost as far back as I can remember, I have had a journal of some sort.  Or, more honestly, I've generally had 2 or 3 at any given point.  Some were nothing more than a spiral notebook, kept in my car, and to be used in every emergency from a quickly scrawled grocery list to a 'We are broken down--coming back with money for meter.  Please don't tow!' note left underneath the windshield wiper on the car in precisely such a situation.  (Pleased to report--we weren't towed.)

Then there's always at least one 'pretty' journal. . . the powder-blue suede one with silver on the binding has held a place on my bookcase for years.  As I know that (due to just how completely PRETTY it is) this is a journal that I will have for quite a long time, I keep important things in here.  Journal pages from important times in my life, or perfectly unimportant times when I simply felt the need to write, passwords to different accounts online, and running lists of what would be a good idea to get so-and-so for Christmas. 

It's a very important journal. 

. . .And since I can never remember my password, my Neopets would *literally* die without it.


And then there's the notepad with polka dots and 'Joy' written on the spine that's always kept near the kitchen, generally with a pen sitting on top of it.  This is because the kitchen is usually the first place we go after waking up in the morning, and when Michael and I are on different shifts the kitchen counter is the choice spot to leave a 'Good Morning, I love you' note.

. . .Or sometimes even a 'Good Morning, I love you, I took $10 from your wallet to put gas in the car and I found another spider last night we need to spray' note.

(It's been known to happen.)

All I'm saying is that these are my credentials for being a lover of the written word, and a lover of being the WRITER of those written words.  I like having journals around.  I like their appearance, and I like their physical presence. 

So imagine my surprise when I realized that the most thorough, and most reliable journal of my activities for the last several years was never even written, but typed. . .

(I had mixed feelings, I will admit.  Much like the whole Kindle debate.  In which, I'm happy to report that Logic prevailed, but the romance and beauty of an actual bookcase still remains.  It was a happy compromise.)

But these emails contained the daily minutia that I didn't have the time to record in any of my notebooks, as I can type much faster than I can write.

So I started going through old emails.

And was quickly re-introduced to the fact that I *might* be a slightly warped individual.  =)

But more than that, these emails were perfect journals, and helped me REMEMBER so much more!  So many small events that made up our daily lives that make me so happy just to think about. . .

(Probably NOT surprisingly, the bulk of these emails have been to either my mother or my husband.)

One of the more recent, a short email (which is an anomoly for me, as you'll soon learn) about feeling Nolan kick for the first time:

Subject: IT'S ALIIIIIVE!!!!!!


This is insane!!!  Like I can actually FEEL HIM!!!  Feels like he’s doing flips. . .  I guess he didn’t like that Subway sandwich with jalapenos that we had for lunch. . .


And then there's the email I got while at work one day, that told me we were getting our house:

Subject: - "Clear to Close"

I just wanted to give you the good news…We just heard back from our underwriter..and we have a Clear-to-Close !

Thank you!


Then there's the time the Star Wars exhibit came to the Huntsville Space and Rocket Center and we were taking the boys, and I was trying to find out if anyone else in the family was interested in going with us:

Subject: Evil Outings. . .

Greetings General---

As a recent instance of rebel-sabotage ( . . .VERMIN!!!) has left us incapable of generating our June Storm-Trooper Newsletter, I am sending this communication so that you will be briefed on our dark-doings and grisly goings-on. . .

Well Summer is here and every Storm Trooper on rotation is just pleased-as-punch about the announcement of our yearly Evil Outing.  After MUCH heated debate, and extensive loss-of-life, our meeting ended in the decision to travel north to the ancient city of Hunt’s’Ville to view the ancient rockets there on display.  Currently, plans are in the works to deliver the miniscule padawan (Codename: Eats-His-Boogers) to the Space and Rocket Center in  Hunt’s’Ville on July 2, 2010.  I have obtained data that suggests that tickets to this event are sold in 30-minute increments.  We have obtained our passes for:

                                                Friday, July 2nd
                                                Night Admission
                                                5:00 p.m.

We’re going to tour the normal Space and Rocket Center stuff that morning, and we’re doing Star Wars that night.  I’m not sure how the tiny-jedi is going to fare on this all-day adventure. . . For that matter, I’m not sure how I will fare, either.  (I have some very valid concerns about nap-availabilities. . .)

Any-hoo. . . this is just if ya’ll are interested.  Seriously, though, if you think your child may have some inclinations toward someday ruling the galaxy, that’s REALLY the kind of thing you need to encourage when they’re young. . .  =)

Hus, kisses, and Space-snuggies----

Darth Mater


Or finally, the email sent to my mother in regards to Muscles, our youngest kitty (stripes on top, polka dots on his belly).  Muscles just showed up at my mother's house one day as a kitten and wouldn't leave. . . until Michael, Cana, Devin and I came over for lunch one afternoon and left with him =)  What follows is the email I sent her in jest regarding the adoption of Muscles:

Subject: Madam
Dear Madam:
I am sending this letter in regards to the kitten that my husband and I received from your facility during the month of September 2009.  (UPC #  68C43Y519)
Frankly, ma'am, we are dissatisfied.
I'm not certain what sort of second-rate establishment you're running, ma'am, but when we left your establishment we expected to return home with a FULLY FUNCTIONAL KITTEN.  (Your brochure assured us of as much.)
Sadly, upon a full inspection of the kitten-in-question, my husband and I were SHOCKED ma'am---SHOCKED!---to discover that we had been duped by an establishment of your pedigree.  . . .I'm sure you're feeling very pleased with yourself. . .  Took us for a couple of rubes, did you?  Thought you'd get away with your little racket, and no one would be the wiser, eh? . . .
Well not on MY dime, Madam! 
We are hard-working, common folk, but do not take us for simpletons!!  It was a mere matter of weeks before we discovered that THIS KITTEN had been constructed using INFERIOR PARTS!  Imagine our consternation when we discovered that the KITTEN that our son had been playing with was a LEMON!!  To begin with, it is painfully OBVIOUS that he was constructed using parts from SEVERAL DIFFERENT KITTENS!!  (Stripes AND spots??  Honestly . . .I don't know how you sleep at night.)
However, the FINAL STRAW was when my husband pointed out that this inferior kitten was PERFECTLY UNAWARE of PROPER LITTERBOX PROCEDURE!!  He poops in the box, turns around, places his front paws OUTSIDE THE BOX, and THEN proceeds to 'cover up' his poo---WITH HIS FRONT LEGS SCRATCHING AIR!!!  OUTSIDE THE BOX!!!!
After a discussion with my husband, I am sorry to inform you that we are FULLY prepared to take this issue ALL THE WAY TO THE TOP!  To the highest branches of government!---To the Better Business Bureau!!  ---TO 'CAT FANCIER'S' MAGAZINE!!
----Unless we receive a fully-functional kitten from your establishment within one week's time.
I can assure you, ma'am---We are QUITE serious.  (We do not take kitten-pilfering lightly, ma'am.)
Please ship the 'refund-kitten' to the address shown on our file.  (I will be shipping the 'inferior' product back to your Corporate Office as soon as he is located.)
We also need one (1) replacement 'Friendly-Frog'.
Good day to you.


So. . .feel perfectly justified in judging me now, if you wish.  But keep in mind, when we lost our internet privileges at work several months back (sidenote: something I *almost* very passionately waged a veritable Crusade about. . .and then discovered that I simply lacked the energy. . .), the only thing we were left with was and email.

And I quickly grew weary of being knowledgeable about current events.  Much too beastly.  I'll continue to get my news from Comedy Central, thank-you-very-much.

My point is that even if I'm not feeling very talkative in my daily life, odds are my fingers won't know when to shut up.

And of course, in a forum such as this, I am forced to completely overlook the major category of my old emails: notes sent to my husband---wishing him a good day, bitching to him about how I had inevitably been wronged by someone in one way or another, and reminding him that we are out of toilet paper.

And peanut butter.

As strange as it is to believe, my husband and I actually *met* via email communications sent through Myspace.  . . .And it just so happened that we knew a lot of the same people. . .  And he was really cute. . .  AND he had great taste in music. . . and. . .

Well, SOME things won't be recited here =)

Primarily because I can't get INTO my Myspace account.

Because I lost the notebook that had my log-in information in it. . .

(True story.)


Technology:   1

Notebooks:    0

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