Friday, July 26, 2013

Took Turns Two =) !!!

Today is a big day.



Today. . . Took turns two.

He is napping right now, and I am sitting at the computer and avoiding eye contact with our cat as I try to get down this post-that-isn't-really-a-post-because-have-I-mentioned-Took-turns-two-today-?-and-I've-got-too-much-shit-to-do.

. . . I am avoiding eye contact with the cat because she is on the back porch, and she wants back inside.  (Again.)  And she is looking at me (very sternly) through the window on the back door.  And so far, she hasn't been verbal about wanting back inside, but if we should make eye contact. . . she is going to freak out, and begin throwing herself (bodily) against the glass.  (She is just that big of a bitch.)  She will literally climb the back door (it makes quite a bit of noise), absolutely frantic about her desire to come back inside OH JUST RIGHT NOW.  (She's sweet and all, but if I'm being completely honest. . . her personality kind of sucks.  But she's family. . . what're you gonna do?  Also. . . she always smells like farts.  Ask anybody.  It's true.)

So I'm ignoring her.**

**(Consequently, this is also what you do with family, should they begin tossing themselves bodily against the back door.  . . .I currently have no advice on how to handle relations that constantly smell of flatulence.  But I'll let you know, when I figure it out.)

I have been sick for the last couple of days, and have simply felt wretched.

(I am not good at being sick.  OH NO, NOT AT ALL.)

I always end up shuffling around, moaning, and trying to decide if I am being descriptive enough with my wails.

. . . Am I making the others in the house feel my pain?  Really, TRULY, experience it?

If not, I always try a little harder.  (One must never shirk one's commitment to excellenceDon't be a Half-Ass, be a Whole-Ass.)

And I am usually quite displeased with the amount of concern that my sniffles and wails generate.



Because I can tell just by looking at them that, however badly the members of my family are currently feeling for me. . . it is NOT bad enough.

Not by a long a shot, buddy.

So what usually ends up happening is that, while I am shuffling around in my bathrobe (with tissues in the pockets) and moaning pitifully to myself (and anyone that cares to listen), I am also USUALLY staring hate-daggers out of my eyes at anyone (Michael) who is not bending over backwards in sympathy over my struggle. . .



(Dramatic re-enactment of how 'sick' feels.)
Also, when I am sick, I completely lose my sense of humor.  Particularly when it comes to how hot the house is, as shown below:

Anyhoo, I am feeling much better now, (thanks for asking) and even managed to get the house cleaned up a bit.  Not "a lot", but definitely "enough."
(We do not have a tendency to put on airs concerning this sort of thing.  Besides, I'm pretty sure everyone we know is already aware that we do not exist in a state of spotless perfection.  So we would be fooling no one.)
In a few minutes, I will be waking up my now two year-old, and we'll be loading in the car to go get the water-slide inflatable-thing for his party tomorrow.  =)
(Not big enough for me, sadly. . . I checked.)
It will be a low-key birthday. . . just family and grilled foods, followed by a birthday cookie.
(I say "it will be low-key", and it will be. . . but still, I am PRETTY freaking excited. . . even if I CAN'T get on the slide.)
So HOORAY for big-stuff, sassafrass, two year old boys!!!

Hooray for health and happiness, pistachio cookies and naps.
And remember:

(P.S.  Last night Mr. Michael and I fell asleep watching a Foo Fighters documentary.  So this morning we decided to start off Took's birthday celebration with a kitchen dance session.  This one was his favorite:)

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